I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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