She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
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he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
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So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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