He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
