This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
