ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
