WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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