Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
