apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
