come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
