just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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