It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
