I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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