You're completely useless in the revolution.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
