Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I need to sanitize my soul.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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