i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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