did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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