like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
