I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Someone signed my nipple.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
