I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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