I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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