My nipple is on Facebook.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
