Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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