question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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