Whats the glycemic index on semen?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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