just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
