I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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