The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
