so let's talk penis.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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