There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she pinky promised me she was 18
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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