its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
