What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
