I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
