Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
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