i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
