listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
