Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
