hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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