you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
