Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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