That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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