In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
