i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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