isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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