The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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