Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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