every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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