its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize