she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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