wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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