You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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