I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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