I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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