Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
