he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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