i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize