my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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