walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Fuck appropriateness.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
