totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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