overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
