Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
