don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
How does it feel to date your dad?
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