How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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