is your mom at the bar?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
