At least make sure they are 18
Why
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
