Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
